Sarah has already pictured in her mind the kind of man she wished to be her man. She wanted a black, tall and rich man and to top it, a man with a good dress sense. According to her, any man without these qualities doesn't impress her and consequently won’t gain her love. She wanted a man she would be proud to flaunt whenever they are out in the public. Right now she is getting older and has no man in her life, the ones that are coming for her hand in marriage are not exactly her kind of men, and she has refused to let them in her life or lead them on.
But she is beginning to think her choosy attitude may be the reason she is still single at 30, “may be I am too choosy,” she lamented.
“I am 30 and I am easily attracted to black, tall and rich guys, and those that have a good sense of dressing. I have always been like this since I started having a boyfriend. If it’s not somebody I can proudly go out with, if I am not impressed by the person’s physical outlook I won’t even bother getting to know the person more. I must be physically attracted to him.
“The two guys I have dated in the past where my spec, I loved them and was able to tolerate their excesses. I noticed if I am not attracted to a guy physically, I easily get tired of the person. I will be emotionally detached from him. And these guys would be heart broken, especially those that were already into me.
“So what I always do when a guy approaches me for a date, I ensure I like him but if I am not attracted to the person and he is not my spec, instead of wasting the person’s time, I would tell him straight up that I am not interested.
“Many of these guys I once rejected are now married and I am still single.
There was a guy, this one we started out as a friend before he expressed his love for me. He was not my spec but I liked him , I even tried to love him because I wanted to marry. But still he irritated me, I couldn't even kiss him, and I couldn't bear it when he touched me or fondled me. I tried but I couldn’t love him the way I should. The guy is neat and fun to be with but I was not feeling anything for him.
“Another thing that actually turned me off completely was that every time I came to visit him, he would be with different ladies. He brought the girls he met on dating platforms home. He told me the day I accepted him wholeheartedly he would stop sleeping around.
“I decided to keep him as just a friend, he is now married too.
Sometimes I wonder if I am the reason why I am not married, maybe I am too selective, I just need to pour out my heart. Is it bad that I desire a man of my choice?
Dear Sarah, It is good to know what you want in a man especially when you want a life partner. So it’s okay if you are choosy or not accepting just any kind of man but you need to be careful not to become too choosy or looking for a Mr perfect because you may never find that kind of man.
So you need to know when to draw that line and open up your heart to guys before you chase away your husband while in search of your ‘spec’
More importantly, beyond the physical looks you must test every man with your peace of mind.
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